Donald Duck Never Wears Pants

The Lion King 

The Supposed Message: We all have responsibilities we can't ignore. And don't trust that creepy uncle.

The Actual Message: In order for you to be successful, other people will have to pay. And ultimately, that's okay, because the ends justify the means!

Cinderella
The Supposed Message: Dreams do come true!

The Actual Message: If you wait around long enough, the universe will practically hand stuff to you.

The little mermaid

The Supposed Message: True love conquers all!

The Actual Message: A little promise with evil is okay, as long as everything works out in the end!

She essentially makes a deal with the devil, leaves her family behind and gets turned from a fish into a human. All so that she can meet the guy she is in love with...who she has never spoken to before...seems a bit stupid

The beauty and the beast

The Supposed Message: Treat others the way you wish to be treated!

The Actual Message: Underneath the abusive exterior of your man is a loving heart he's just dying to share with you.

As soon as she falls in love with him he becomes hot. So the moral is 'love them for who they are, but tell them to get some work done'. on another note,apparently beastiality is okay in Disney's eyes?

The hunchback of Notre dame

The Supposed Message: Don’t judge a book by its cover!

The Actual Message: Ugly guys don't get the girl, even if they're devoted and awesome. which is a shame 

Sleeping beauty

The Supposed Message: True love will conquer all!

The Actual Message: That guy who comes along and saves you from a crisis? Marry him! He's the one!

Both the sleeping beauty and snow white, they were essentially sexually assaulted by strange men while they were asleep.

The fox and the hound

The Supposed Message: Even though we're different, we can still get along.

The Actual Message: And by "get along" we mean "don't kill each other." We certainly do not mean "live together." Don't be silly, you belong to different races! You can never be friends

Robin Hood and Aladdin 

They both teach us that it’s okay to steal from people if it’s for a good cause? And in Aladdin he steals and lies just so he can get the girl. It also teaches kids they can get what they want from rubbing a lamp and asking a blue guy.

the moral of aladdin is -' It's okay if you're poor. You can steal your way to the top'

Don’t even get me started on Alice in wonderland

They are all high. All the things she eats and drinks? Yeah they are clearly drugs. Not only is it saying that you should drink and eat shit from strangers, but it also encourages you to talk to strangers? Yeah those mushrooms certainly are magic, doll. 

so the moral of alice in wonderland is probably - When things don't seem right, eat a magic mushroom

Donald duck never wears pants... yet he puts a towel round him when he gets out of the shower...

obviously the kids watching these are not thinking this at the time but it puts the idea into their heads and if not, the least it is doing is teaching kids that they can one day become a prince or a princess and that they will fall in love with someone without even talking to them and that its only really the hot people who find love. we need disney films about ugly people who find love.

wierd.

For all of you on study leave and wanting to avoid revising, here is a list of the best films ever, created over days of procrastination by myself and David Lowe

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Help, I’m A Fish!
My girl
Home alone 
Mary Kate and Ashley;
Our Lips Are Sealed
Winning London
Holiday In The Sun
Getting there
When in rome
Jurasic park
Meet the parents
Meet the fokers
Role Models

It’s A Wonderful Life

Even Stevens the Movie

The Breakfast Club

A Bugs Life

Jeeper’s creepers 1&2

jUMANJI

Sherlock Holmes 1&2

Silence Of The Lambs

Cannibal

Red Dragon

Ferris Bueler's Day Off

Dirty Dancing

Weekend At Bernie’s

Groundhog Day

Clueless

Little Women

Pretty Women

The Shining

Trainspotting

Star wars (all 6, love The Phantom Menace the best.)

Indiana Jones (again all 4)

E.T

Fast Times At Ridgemount High

The Man With Two Brains

Ghostbusters (1&2)

Back To The Future (1,2&3)

The Goonies

When Harry Met Sally

Gremlins

Who Framed Rodger Rabbit?

Honey, I Shrunk The Kids

Honey, I Blew Up The Kids

Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves

The Wizard Of Oz

Jaws 1,2,3&4

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

The Godfather

The Exorcist

Grease 1&2

Pirates Of The Caribbean 123&4

Transformers 12&3

Harry Potter 1-8

The Hangover 1&2

Scream (1-4)

Lord Of The Rings 12&3

Saw (1-A MILLLION)

Scary Movie 1&2

Spiderman 12&3

X-Men 1234&5

Charlie’s Angels1&2

James Bond (trillions of them)

Austin Powers 12&3

American Pie 123456&7

Paranormal Activity 12&3

White Chicks

Deep Blue Sea

It

Misery

Stand By Me

Slap Her Shes French

Supersize Me

Zack and Mindy Make A Porno

Sky High

The Hand That Rocked the Cradle

The Boat That Rocked

Beetle Juice

The Emperor’s New Groove

The Road to El Dorado

Bring It On 123&4

Wayne’s World 1&2

The Ring 1&2

Three Men and The Baby

Open Water

Jackass 1234&5

Spy Kids 12&3

13

The Parent Trap

Along Came Polly

Matilda

Cats And Dogs

Flubber

Lizzie Mcguire Movie

Edward Scissorhands

Hocus Pocus

Dumb and Dumber

Superbad

Jenifer’s Body

Napoleon Dynamite

Monster In Law

Role Models

Zoolander

The Wedding Crashers

The Wedding Singer

The Wedding planner

The Sweetest Thing

Black Swan

Hercules

Submarine

The Inbetweeners Movie

Easy A

Bruce almighty

Madagascar

The bullet proof monk

The buffy the vampire slayer movie
agent cody banks 1&2
shes the man
john tucker must die
8 legged freaks
Blair witch project
I’ll be home for Christmas
Insidious
School of rock
Mean Girls
Donny darko
Halloween Town  12&3
The Little Mermaid 1&2
Toy Story (1,2&3)
Freaky Friday
Karrie 1&2
Cry Wolf
The butterfly effect
The sixth Sense
Step up 12&3
Dear john
What a girl wants
A Cinderella story
P.s I love you
8 mile
Euro trip
What happens in Vegas
13 going on 30
St Trinians 1&2
Lassie
Attack The Block
127 hours
Twister
Bridesmaids
Friends with benefits
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
The social network
Sex and the city
Domestic Disturbance
Legally blonde 1&2
Knocked up
Horrible Bosses
No strings attached
Free willy 12&3
Beastly
The human centipede 1 &2
Serbian film
The girl with the dragon tattoo
Signs
Like mike
Prom Night
My bloody valentine
The ugly truth
Miss.congeniality
Juno
500 days of summer
batman 12345&6
Slumdog millionare
love actually
50 first dates
how to lose a guy in 10 days
Bridget jones 1&2
revenge of the nerds
the last American virgin
rush hour 1
the ring 1&2
Friday the 13^th 1234567&8
superman
nightmare on elms street 123456&7
Freddie vs Jason
daddy day care
cheaper by the dozen 1&2
cabin fever
Scooby doo 1&2

2012

So it is 2012, and we are apparently all going to die an excruciatingly painful death in 353 days. However the most pain i seem to be in at the moment is the paper cuts covering my hands as I decided 35 minutes ago to rip off all the photos, magazine cuttings and stickers off the side of my wardrobe and my door. not because its 'a new year and a new me! :D ' and not cause i began to cry about how painstakingly depressing my shitty life is, but simply because I was staring at all the things i used to like and the photos of me with people i don't even say hello to any more and the oldest photos were from p7. when looking at the photos i saw who i used to be and how I don't even see the smallest part of that person any more and I didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. all I know is that I am sick and tired of everyone being depressing little fucks and not just saying what they think and having to lie about absolutely fucking everything cause they seem to care so bloody much about what everyone thinks about them, when i can guarantee you i will never see/talk to 96% of the people in my year say 2 and a half/3 years from now? i know i have gone very far off the topic i just thought that maybe this might make people realize that all the things they think are important and worth crying rivers over in 2012 will mean anything in the grand scheme of their lives. the point i think i am trying to make is that i personally think over the past 5 years i have changed far too many times because of the people i hung out with and i have fought with so many other people because of the people i hung out with. the point of me ripping off all the pictures was not to forget all those people it was just to show that none of it actually matters. i know that this is all awfully cliché and depressing and very 'my life is shit, I'm a new person' but i just don't see the point in changing the way i am just so that other people can like me, or changing my opinions to agree with other peoples, or having to hang out with people who i know i will never talk to again a year from then when we all clearly have nothing in common but i would just go with it.so basically, the next year and a half of my life is going to be spent with a lot of different people but I'm hoping that after this i will think more carefully about the decisions i make and the way i choose to act just because of other bitches.

ugly

makeup can make you look pretty on the outside. but it dosen't help if you are ugly on the inside. unless you eat your make up.

happy

if i was happy all the time, i would never fully appreciate life. because sometimes we need to miss things in order to realize how valuable it is, or want things in order to realize how important it is. if i was happy all the time, i would not truly be happy.

overrated

being a teenager is vastly overrated. we all make mistakes, we are all stubborn and we couldn't give two shits what our parents think, we hate school, we cause shit, we fight, we love ,we cry ,we give up believing in a higher power. we're all fucked up and that's the truth. we all come from dysfunctional families, because no family is perfect ; we say things we don't mean, we yell, we scream,we get broken hearts, we get drunk, we have sex. grades don't mean a thing anymore,we live on quotes and music that describe our lives and most importantly we are tired. we are tired of waking up each morning and having to go to school where we see the people we hate or the people we love, we get tired of waiting for the text message that's not going to come and we get tired of pretending we're fine.

end.

the saddest part of life is perhaps the fact that all good things must, and eventually will, come to an end. of course there is the chance that  maybe the good things will end and just get better.but believe me, that too will end. and yes i do suppose there could be worse things that could happen to you in your time on this earth than good things ending. but it is probably the thing that leaves the deepest scar. your life could be lovely filled with good morning kisses and sunshine through your window and the stars in the sky at night, but what if one day that person that gave you good morning kisses, left? oh, imagine how horribly ugly that scar would be on your heart.all good things must come to an end but bad things can continue on forever. but i think good things come to an end, so we can realize how good they were and make way for another great thing.

insane.

its 2011 for fuck sake and there are still people being homophobic. fair enough lifes not perfect. there is always going to be people who have a problems..natzi's ect. but the fact that there are teenagers who are homophobic? i dont understand. pretty sure these days everyone is brought up to accept things like this? guessing i was wrong.
to be honest half the time we are all homophobic 'for fuck sake thats so gay stop doing that' never really thought about it in that way before though.
if anything, i admire anyone who can have the courage to come out (especially at the point in your life when your a teenager and life is tough enough) and carry the abuse that comes along with it. insane. ill never really understand why some people are so homophobic. being scared ect are the usual thoughts. but at the end of the day some of the people who come out at my age deserve some kind of medal for not caring what other people think and taking all the abuse just so they can be happy and not hide who they are.
just saw in the news last month, in america a 15 year old guy has gone to court for shooting dead another classmate in school because he was gay. is that a joke. when people start throwing around abuse about how anyone who isnt straight should slit their wrists and die, they dont think about that actually happening, they think its just words. if that actually happened..would it be worth it? would it be worth it just to try and get rid of someone different to you. if anything homophobes are the ones who are scared. scared because they could never, ever have enough courage to come out and say that they are gay, cause i recon most of them secretly are.

life goes on

i sometimes wonder if life is worth it
but then i think about the unforgeable memories and realise life is worth it 
love what you got, remember what you had, learn to forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes but dont regret.
people change,things go wrong but keep on remembering life goes on.

Photos

 You know what really bothers me? When girls, or boys, this could work both way, post up photos of themselves and they title it "i'm look minging" "i'm ugly" "ewwwwwwww". Okay, what!? That doesn't make sense. Obviously you do not think you look ugly, unless you genuinely do, I doubt you would post a picture up of yourself.  I don't know if these people are doing this just so they can get remarks like"you are not ugly! don't say that, you're beautiful!" "ewww? more like hot!" I'm sorry, but these people just seem like attention grabbers to me.
    Or another thing is when someone DOES compliment on your photo, don't disregard their comment and be like "no hun, that's you!"Okay, maybe it is nice to give them a nice compliment back, after all, they did just compliment you. BUT DON'T start world war 3 and  play the compliment game back and forth. It's dumb, and nobody wins.  
 the next time anyone tells me they think they are ugly, my answer will be 'yes you are'.


Why do people insist on taking pictures of themselfs with alcohol? admittedly there are a few photos of my with alcohol in my hand.But when a photo is about to be taken so all the girls go 'WAIT' and run and grab a bottle of vodka or a packet of fags even if its empty. Do they think it's cool? Do they think they are badass? All I know is that they look really stupid. I hate it when a lot of girls (sorry for targeting the ladies again) take a bunch of pictures of them kissing a vodka bottle, or pretending to drink out of an un opened bottle. Cool. You know, that is really cool. It just makes you look super immature and a little trashy, if thats the look you are going for congratulations.

the pressure to be perfect.

74% of teen girls and young women feel the pressure to be “perfect.”
Girls today are fixating on their flaws, causing them to belittle themselves and even take dangerous action. They are shown messages and images everywhere constantly in magazines and on tv which sets an unrealistic standard of beauty. The average person sees between 400 and 600 advertisements per day, so thats like more than one message for every waking minute. for teen girls more than half of these are showing them size 0-2 models with perfect skin and perfect hair, making them think they should look like that. magazines are filled with stories of girl celebs being too fat or too thin giving teen girls the wrong impression. this standard of beauty that is not even obtainable because no one seems to see the blatantly obvious that the photos in magazines are Photoshop'd so that its not even the same person any more. i was kind of looking for inspiration on what to write about and it came up on my twitter that Demi Lovato posted a photo of her in her bikini having struggled with bipolar but she worked hard and is happy with the way she looks, and her saying 'love is louder than the pressure to be perfect' really stuck with me. but yeah, any boys reading this wont really understand much of what im talking about. but i can guarantee almost all teen girls feel they are pressured to look a certain way. but seriously, if someone wont accept you for who you are, they aren't worth your time. don't change yourself to look how someone else wants you to look. the people you love will love you for being the person you are, not trying to be someone else. my only advice is live your life to the fullest and dont waste your time trying to live up to others expectations. 

who we are

teenage girls are nippy

they slither around on Facebook, Twitter and Formspring expecting the whole world to care about them.they frequently ask questions such as "Am I pretty.... I think I'm ugly" and people respond with answers such as "No way, you're so pretty!". Attached is a photograph of them in the mirror with a stupid duckface expression, a strange camera angle and crappy Photo editing so you cannot see that they have any facial features.how can a photo be nice if you cant see your fucking face?! they are extremely materialistic and superficial, concerned about makeup and clothes.would slowly wither away and die if anyone took away their blackberrys or iPhones, iPods full of Lady Gaga, Jonas Brothers and Justin Bieber.They appear to be illiterate in the English language adding unnecessary smiley faces. :) :) :) and a laughing face :L:L at the end of everything they say when everyone knows they actually have the facial expression of a brick. The only literature they have been exposed to is Twilight. They don't care about their grades in school because obviously being popular is THE  single most important thing in their lives. When it comes to boys, they consider appearance to be more attractive than personality; they would rather date the hot-headed fit guy who acts like a dick to them and cheats on them instead of the mature guy with manners that rarely speaks because he believes that he isn't worth their time and has grown to be shy and insecure. Bad boys are apparently better than nice guys.many girls will be reading this thinking...yup..yeah...yes. 

unfortunately almost all teenage girls are like this. including me. don't see us changing any time soon. sorry lads.

connected

Its weird how the internet unites us. We take so many things for granted, one of them is having every single one of our contacts haunting us day and night on the internet. Nothing is sacred anymore, everywhere you go, they go with you. You see glimpses of every person’s life without actually being there and similarly they see glimpses of your life without really being there. You update your status on Facebook or Twitter and everywhere else. If someone wants to find you, all they have to do is click a button. Wow, what a feat we have achieved. that's just weird, anyone can know just about anything about you.

unfortunately, no one controls the internet. anything can be put up by anyone and  its like toothpaste, once its out it cant be put back in. i think people should think about that more, because like i said, the internet is great for connecting everyone to each other, but it causes its fair bit of trouble.

the kind of trouble the internet causes is stuff like formspring ect where cowards use the fact their name is not shown to put people they dislike down by the way they look. 

the internet in general is an amazing place it can connect you to anyone in the world and give you information about anyone, but its dangerous and i sometimes wish it wasn't in our lives as much as it is.

would you do it again?

if given the opportunity to do it again would you? things you have done in life which you wish you hadn't done.would you change what you did, or would you do it at all? many people i guess would automatically say yes. because some of the things they said and mistakes they made were hard for them and hurt other people. so given the opportunity they would not do it again because then life would feel easier and they wouldn't have to deal with with the consequence's.


i have to say that at first i thought yeah.. i would love to have all my mistakes erased, it would mean my parents would trust me more and would not have been hurt by my actions. but you know what. ask me it again.
if given the opportunity to do it again would you? yes. i have made those choices in life because that is who i am. there is no point in changing my mistakes because they made me the person i am, without those mistakes i wouldn't be the same person. 
“We all have possibilities we don’t know about. We can do things we don’t even dream we can do.” -Dale Carnegie
we all have to live with the residue of our choices and consequences of our actions. As you charge through life, don’t think “what if.” Whether you are thinking about your past, present or future, don’t over analyse yourself into a corner! Spending your time imagining what would have been if you could have changed some little thing, some small decision in your life, is counter productive  Think about how you can improve your future. Don’t waste your present thinking about your past. 
p.s Blair Anderson.

the truth part 2

i know i have already posted about this but I'm always getting knew thoughts on the subject of lies and the truth. its at this age that people tell lies the most. i know white lies are told on a daily basis by everyone. but there are some people who feel the need to tell lies not to cover up anything, but because they feel ignored and want attention. i have come across many people in my life who have made up stupid stuff for attention. majority of them girls, i have heard the works; multiple pregnancy's(and then abortions), allegations of rape, bipolar, moving house,small things like piercings, the most recent was breast cancer.  there is a very large gap between telling a white lie to your parents about where you actually were on your study leave (mum and dad if you ever see this, this is just an example...i have never lied about where i was...pah) and making up that you have a life threatening disease for attention. i never know how to feel about these people, should I feel sorry for them because they are so bored of their own lives they want to spice them up a bit. Should I be angry at them for being so malicious (took a leaf out of the pixie mac dictionary) and vile that they think it is okay to make up bullshit like that. there are people in life who are actually suffering from illnesses and are facing real problems in life, but these people pretend to be in the same situation, for what..fun? people like that? they should be more than happy, that these problems are not happening to them and that they are alive healthy and able to carry on in their everyday lives without the hassle the people who really have these problems have to suffer. fair enough what happens now at the age we are means fuck all later in life. if you were popular in your year in senior school, great for you. its not going to get you a job! but when we come back for our 30th school reunion. you will still be known as that girl that no one trusted because she lied about everything and lost all her mates. would you rather be known as that..or be known not by as many people, but by your friends as a really nice, pretty girl. cause fare enough if you make up shit, people will talk about you, but you are giving up all your friends for that. if that's the kind of person you are happy to be, i feel so so sorry for you.

regrets

it would be great to be able to say 'live life with no regrets' and actually believe yourself.
unfortunately,that just isn't how it works. sorry but its the mistakes and regrets we have in life that makes us who we are. things that you see as regrets are actually lessons you have learnt in life, so you know to do it differently or not at all next time around.without all these regrets you wouldn't be the person you are today right? so i guess what i am saying is don't regret your regrets. sure people make mistakes, you just have to see them as things that have happened to make you the person you are. i heard a good quote by marilyn monroe
'we should all start to live before we get too old. fear is stupid so are regrets'

just...no

the s4 guidance are still looking for volunteers for the social evening that is being organised to celebrate the end of standard grade exams...this event is said to consist of;
snacks&juice
the school hall
teachers
fancy dress
....and the Dj skills of Jonathan Adie
i would personally rather spend my night gouging my eyes out, than standing for the best part of 2 hours looking at Jonny and his personalized t-shirt.
thanks Mrs. Lovell, but i think ill pass.

life is too short

life is too short, i think people forget that a lot of the time. if we were reminded that more, i think it would influence so much of what we do. putting petty little fights and pointless drama into perspective makes you see that what is happening is a complete and utter waste of time, time that we have very little of. i reckon i have easily spent the majority of me teen years having fights and loosing friends,and being part of so much drama being blown up to look like its the end of the world when really it means nothing. a few days ago i was told i apparently am applying for university...this September. it was the single most frightening thing i have heard in a long time. like. shit. and looking at unis, seeing the courses, committing to the decision that no matter what im moving out at the end of s5. all pretty big stuff. all this made me think for a second and take a step back to look at my life, and see all the time i am wasting with everything going on, there are so much more important things in life that who bitched about who, who lied about what and bringing up things from the past. so yeah, all im saying basically is 'life is too short' just think about it, we arent here for long, so why not just make the most of it and make sure all the moments you remember from school is doing stupid things when pissed or having fun with your friends without having a care in the world about jobs, income or taxes. not to have bad memories about pointless drama, lies,bitching and loosing friends.

the truth

We are told just about everyday how important telling the truth is. Wether its on tv or by teachers. Unfortunately its not telling the truth that scares people so much, its the people they are telling it to. Sometimes the truth can do more harm than good, it just depends on the way people choose to handle it. These people who cant handle the truth are going to have real problems in life because a world full of lies isnt the kind of world anyone but themselves would want to live in, you must have a very sad life to feel the need to constantly make up lies for your own amusement and to get attention from theres. They can't handle the truth and would rather hear strings of lies and brush their feelings under the carpet. Eventually this all bottles up until someone just decides to come out with the truth about the smallest thing. But it gets blown up out of proportion because all these people watch out for is themselves and once that bottle has been opened its gonna be hard to close.

quotes

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." — Marilyn Monroe


“Laugh as much as you breath and love as long as you live.”


“If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.”


"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.”