16 Apr 2012

Donald Duck Never Wears Pants

The Lion King 
The Supposed Message: We all have responsibilities we can't ignore. And don't trust that creepy uncle.
The Actual Message: In order for you to be successful, other people will have to pay. And ultimately, that's okay, because the ends justify the means!

Cinderella
The Supposed Message: Dreams do come true!
The Actual Message: If you wait around long enough, the universe will practically hand stuff to you.
The little mermaid
The Supposed Message: True love conquers all!
The Actual Message: A little promise with evil is okay, as long as everything works out in the end!
She essentially makes a deal with the devil, leaves her family behind and gets turned from a fish into a human. All so that she can meet the guy she is in love with...who she has never spoken to before...seems a bit stupid
The beauty and the beast
The Supposed Message: Treat others the way you wish to be treated!
The Actual Message: Underneath the abusive exterior of your man is a loving heart he's just dying to share with you.
As soon as she falls in love with him he becomes hot. So the moral is 'love them for who they are, but tell them to get some work done'. on another note,apparently beastiality is okay in Disney's eyes?
The hunchback of Notre dame
The Supposed Message: Don’t judge a book by its cover!
The Actual Message: Ugly guys don't get the girl, even if they're devoted and awesome. which is a shame 
Sleeping beauty
The Supposed Message: True love will conquer all!
The Actual Message: That guy who comes along and saves you from a crisis? Marry him! He's the one!
Both the sleeping beauty and snow white, they were essentially sexually assaulted by strange men while they were asleep.
The fox and the hound
The Supposed Message: Even though we're different, we can still get along.
The Actual MessageAnd by "get along" we mean "don't kill each other." We certainly do not mean "live together." Don't be silly, you belong to different races! You can never be friends


Robin Hood and Aladdin 
They both teach us that it’s okay to steal from people if it’s for a good cause? And in Aladdin he steals and lies just so he can get the girl. It also teaches kids they can get what they want from rubbing a lamp and asking a blue guy.
the moral of aladdin is -' It's okay if you're poor. You can steal your way to the top'

Don’t even get me started on Alice in wonderland
They are all high. All the things she eats and drinks? Yeah they are clearly drugs. Not only is it saying that you should drink and eat shit from strangers, but it also encourages you to talk to strangers? Yeah those mushrooms certainly are magic, doll. 
so the moral of alice in wonderland is probably - When things don't seem right, eat a magic mushroom

Donald duck never wears pants... yet he puts a towel round him when he gets out of the shower...

obviously the kids watching these are not thinking this at the time but it puts the idea into their heads and if not, the least it is doing is teaching kids that they can one day become a prince or a princess and that they will fall in love with someone without even talking to them and that its only really the hot people who find love. we need disney films about ugly people who find love.